I Am My Beloved’s…

The petals are lovely, so soft, so sweetly fragrant. So much more grace than I deserve.
He sat looking at his laptop screen, checking email this morning before work. I glanced over his shoulder to see the top line of his inbox list- 1-800-FLOWERS. He flinched a little, like he’d just realized I was looking at his screen, too, and flipped to another window. For a split second I had the thought, did he get flowers for me, or did he get flowers for someone else? After some more seconds, and gratefully only seconds later, I had another thought- it was probably just an advertisement. I mean, Valentine’s Day is tomorrow; this is prime time to be getting the attention of lovers everywhere. But the initial thought shamed me greatly. He has never given me any cause to doubt that he loves me madly. Why was that thought there? And why, while I was ironing his shirt for work, did I start adding up all the people he knew that I didn’t? It could be over a hundred, as far as work-related acquaintances go. He travels in so many different educational circles and there is no end to the different connections he has within and without each one. I was grateful for the second thought, though, the one about it just being an ad. So grateful, because it meant that though I still have a long way to go, God’s word is making its way to my heart. Verses like

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

are invaluable to me when I am in danger of letting my mind run away with a fear or any wrong thought. God is so good to convict me sooner, get me on a right path sooner, back in His light sooner. I wish I could never leave.

The roses are beautiful, varying shades of yellow, pink, and red. They are a gift from my beloved. He tells me they were much cheaper if he ordered them delivered today, instead of tomorrow, something that makes me chuckle through my tears. I do not deserve these flowers, but every time I look at them I will remember God’s word and His grace.