The Dream

It was one of those mornings where I was only too happy to get up and out of bed; that meant the events I had just experienced were only a dream. I might go so far as to call it a nightmare…
I was alone at the beach, seemingly on a vacation. As I settled in to my hotel room, I realized I left Kenan at home. (I must have planned to bring him, since he was still nursing.) No matter, I thought, he can take bottles and I have a lot of milk frozen at home. As I went out and about, trying to enjoy myself, I further realized that I had left my phone at home, so that Luke or anyone else would be unable to contact me that way. When I got back to my hotel, the person at the front desk handed me what looked like our library receipts, line upon line of phone messages she had taken from callers for me, most likely Luke and whoever was taking care of Kenan. At that moment, too, I realized I didn’t bring my pump, and to purchase one here would be outrageously expensive. These feelings of helplessness, loneliness, and stupidity washed over me like the waves outside the hotel. How would I ever be able to enjoy this place?
I woke up full, maternally speaking and emotionally, pondering this dream. We are planning a trip to Nashville soon, just Luke, Kenan, and me, and the circumstances of this are similar to what should have been in my dream. Only in my dream I was alone. It was as if I was in a wonderful place but couldn’t enjoy it because two very important and vital people were not there, and I was cut off from connecting with them.
I got to thinking about lost people, how no matter the beauty surrounding them right now they ultimately are cut off from any real connection with anything that matters, with people, with God. This is the second such ‘vision’ I have had lately that has helped me see lost people from a better perspective.
The first was a heavy thought- what is it like to be lost? If you knew you were lost, you wouldn’t leave your house in the morning, maybe not even your bed, for fear you might meet your death in a random accident. What is it like to be you?
This dream is similar, in that it carries such a heaviness, such a burden. Ephesians 2:12- “You lived in this world without God and without hope.”
Makes me want to do more to share the Good News with those around me.

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