Do you ever have “one of those days”? Days for me usually will pass along at a pace, no real complaints, then, WHAM! we hit a brick wall. Today was that day, and I’m pulling mortar crumbs out of my teeth.
After breakfast, we started our morning cleaning jobs, and an altercation between two siblings led me to add a second cleaning job to the offender’s list of things to do. This didn’t go over too well, as the offender was set on convincing me she was really the offended party, and got busy talking her way out of the job. While I stood in the hallway defending the merits of instant obedience, I was paying no attention to what was going on in the kitchen, where the youngest bunch were playing. Immediately I realized my neglect as I heard a tumbling down the basement stairs and the baby scream. First of many miracles- she was not dead, something I had imagined happening countless times. (I have some fear issues.) As I comforted her and looked for injuries from her fall, I only could see a small red mark on her cheek. We sat in a chair for the next few minutes, her placidly drinking her bottle and me shaking with sobs. Many reasons for tears went through my mind.
Most strong was the feeling I didn’t deserve to have her be alright.
Most strange was the relief I felt- that picture I had in my mind of her broken body on the cement floor wouldn’t have as great a hold on me in times of weakness and fear.
Most awesome was the mercy God showed in not allowing her to suffer harm.
Most heart-breaking was the reality that, had I not neglected the training in obedience of my other children, this moment of neglect might have been avoided.
So, I’m feeling a healthy heaping of humility that follows a sound whipping tonight. And unspeakable joy, because I have a chance to do it all over again tomorrow. Only much differently. Thank You so much, Father. Your love is beyond comprehension.
My suffering was good for me, because it taught me to pay attention to Your decrees. Ps. 119:71