Mommy Is Mean

That’s where we are already, only day two of being a single mom. Elijah said that this afternoon when he was supposed to stay upstairs and didn’t.

But seriously. Things are going pretty good with Luke and the big kids gone. We went to the library this morning, and each kid was able to turn in a reading sheet. I couldn’t turn in the babies’ sheets, though, because when I looked at the options for reading and encouraging reading on the back of it, I couldn’t honestly say I’d done that five times this past week. So the list is now on the fridge, and we are counting raisins when we wake up.

I didn’t mean to, but I got two books read this past week! One was A Man Called Ove, the other Only The River Runs Free. ¬†Ove was okay, but judging from the praise for it on the front and back covers, you’d think it was a Pulitzer. As I read it I kept thinking of stories it mimicked, like the grumpy old man in the movie Up and the children from the movie Despicable Me, even the plots from my beloved Mitford books (man is alone- man gets pet- man meets interesting and challenging people- man ends up changing many lives). Is nothing original anymore?

Only The River was pretty good. It takes place in Ireland at a time when the Irish are under England’s thumb, and (at least in this story) the Catholics are the good guys and Protestants greedy and dishonest. There was a neat part where two of the characters, children, were in possession of a key and were overwhelmed with fear lest it be found. In a book given them by a godly man, it said the only place for burdens was the feet of Jesus. So they took the key to the church and hid it in a wooden carving of Jesus crucified, in the space between his feet and the cross. What a great picture for all of us, and the burdens we cannot bear. This book is our ladies’ book club selection this month, and I’d like to make something for each lady that represents a way of laying our burdens at His feet. Maybe a small box with Jesus’ feet painted on the lid, where one can put paper bits of prayers and praises? Any ideas you all have are welcome.

 

My Thing

The kids and Luke left to run just a bit ago, and I was left holding the sauce spoon, holding down the fort, holding in my complaints about the way of things sometimes. Even with bigger kids, a lot is left to me, and some days it gets hard to keep a good attitude. Part of the game is learning to love it, learning how to do, whatever my hand finds to do, with all my heart.

The other day I was moaning to Luke that I didn’t have a ‘thing’, an activity that fulfilled me, gave me some joy (I mean apart from marriage and family; that wasn’t the origin of this conversation. I can’t remember what was, ha). Luke immediately returned, “Homeschooling! You have that!” and it was like a light bulb went on, one that has been screwed in the hole for some time, just not screwed in all the way. Luke wants me to embrace homeschooling, to take it seriously, to work at it with all my heart. All these years I have tried to have as little to do with it as possible, like an acquaintance I would only see occasionally, but never dream of having into my home for dinner. Something is clicking with me. I’m not allowed to hate homeschooling. It is hurting my children, but it is hurting me more not to be all in, and allow myself to be changed through the process of teaching my children. I want to repent of this spirit asap, and am working on making time each day even this summer to get up close and personal with what the Lord might want to do in and through us next fall.

Luke and the older four leave for Lynchburg Monday for a week. While I will miss my biggest helpers (see griping above), I am looking forward to having some extra time to myself. The calendar is empty, since much of the to-dos these days involve these five. My to-do list can be a little more focused:

Read to the littles every day and take them to the library

Clean house

Read

Paint

Blog

Cook yummy things that Luke hates

Soak up some sun

If I get any of that done, the week will be well spent.

I’m learning that at this stage of my life, my ‘thing’ needs to be me enabling others to have their thing. It will likely be my most rewarding work.

“Well done, thou good and faithful servant…”

 

The Hope of Temporary

Don’t be jealous that I now have a tiny bedroom in the northern, moldy corner of our house. Actually, I was so excited to be making the change- much of our set up in our home was meant to be temporary, and any time we move forward in our house projects, I feel like I can breathe a little more deeply. But that first night in our new room, I couldn’t get to sleep. Maybe it was the hot cocoa, maybe the thoughts of all that there still is to do to get Carol settled into her room and us into ours. It didn’t end up being as wonderful as I thought it would be.

We visited a church on Sunday for the second time, one we are seriously thinking about attending long term. Realistically, we can’t visit many churches this summer: Luke and I are seasoned enough to reject most denominations in our area as not being for us, and even visiting the church we did was exhausting. People are friendly, but we are answering the same questions over and over (where we live, do we homeschool, are we related to —- Burton, etc). I thought it would be great if we just could go up to the pulpit and introduce ourselves, get it all out at once. It seems like a lot of work if we are only going to be there temporarily.

The pastor’s sermon was timely, though. The Sadducees were trying to trap Jesus with a question about a woman marrying all seven brothers of a family, and Jesus gives us insight into the nature of Heaven and eternity. This, all this, is temporary, except the Word of God, and people. I want to spend more of my day focused on these two things.

Our church problems center on these two things, in many ways. We want to be part of a church body where the Word of God is studied, where people are discipled, and where good relationships can develop that spur us each on to love and good works. Sometimes it seems like there is no place for us, if we are to be sticklers on these details. Are we too hard-nosed? I think it comes back to what is temporary, and what is eternal. We have to major on these things that last forever. There has to be a way to cultivate this in our family.