Is It Okay To Have A Plan B?

10 days overdue and it is time to start thinking about induction. The word, the command from Scripture for me so far has been “Wait for the LORD,” and I remind myself of this multiple times a day when feeling low. Also, it would be good for me to remind myself of various individuals in the Bible who did not wait on the LORD and suffered for it, but I have not done that, yet. But it is reasonable, I think, to ask how long I am to wait in these circumstances. I’ve got this week, but then things get crazy with kids getting ready for camp, and my siblings visiting, and I really did not expect to be still ‘having a baby’ during those weeks!

So, what I am thinking at this point is to schedule the induction for Friday. This would be 14 days over, the most I feel comfortable with and the most I have any history with. Sam came 14 days late, and was 10 lbs. I wish I could go back to my 27 year old self and see if I was more at peace than I am now in the waiting. What did I do to avoid sitting and stewing? Oh, yeah- two little girls to chase, one 3, one 14 months. And an apartment to pack up; we were moving to Waldo. That would have kept me busy. And, when he was born with a Meningocele on his spine, I had this peace, this knowing that he must have needed the extra time inside. Does this little one have an issue? I will not go there to speculate, but I have to keep thinking that, like Sam, no time is wasted.

I had an induction with Noah after only one week of being overdue. Somehow my doctors were able to spin the facts to convince me that waiting like I did for Sam wasn’t a good idea. I regret doing that. Then, when the time came to think about Micah and Micaiah’s delivery, we decided scheduling an induction a week early was best, as it would eliminate some unknowns and have the hospital staff ready for our arrival, Micah’s arrival, and Micaiah’s stillbirth. A wonderful thing happened then, though- the LORD had me go into labor the night before, confirming that this plan was okay with¬† Him but He wanted to still have it go His way.

Now as I anticipate a third possible induction, I want to bottle up what has been good about the waiting and trusting all these other times, and not forget that He has never forsaken me. Still, I feel like scheduling would be an act of faithlessness in this case. A Plan B, when Plan A, trusting Him, was the only command issued. Thankfully, though, I have until Thursday before I have to make the decision at my next OB appointment. I hope and pray the LORD will take the decision out of my hands.

Musical Beds

Still here. But last night I can honestly say I was so grateful not to have gone into labor. There were plenty of other things going on.
This week has been difficult, with so many ‘loose ends’ needing tied up before I feel good about leaving home for a couple of days. One is the children’s health- a few of them have fevers and have been laying around the house today. This looks so odd on a summer day; I didn’t realize I would be dealing with illness the week before our baby came this time.
Another loose end was Kenan’s presence in our room- he needed to move out so that the new baby could move in. But he has been sick on and off for the last few weeks, and there was never a good time to do it. Well, last night seemed like an opportunity to try it. At first, both Adon and Kenan refused to go to bed, so they sat out with Luke and me and watched a movie until they fell asleep. Then we put them each down, Kenan in his playpen and Adon with Caleb. A couple hours later, I heard Adon crying, and went in to find him in Sam’s bed, rolling around and flapping his arms. Poor Sam was bewildered and still asleep as I tried to get him to move out of the way so that I could get to Adon. When I did, I moved him back to Caleb’s bed and eventually got him calmed down.
Still later, I heard both Adon and Kenan crying, so I picked up Kenan and went to rock him out in the living room. Adon was still crying, but I couldn’t do anything about him at the moment. I hoped Luke would hear him and wake up to help, but that never happened. Once Kenan was asleep again, I put him in our bed, with Luke, and went to tend to Adon again. There was just enough space left in our bed for me if I let my belly hang over the side, so I lay down once Adon was asleep. He soon awakened again, and again, until finally I decided to bring Adon out to the couch with me and we slept there for the next hour or so feet to feet.
Then I waken when I hear a thump and a cry- Kenan had rolled out of our bed! I went for him, brought him out to the rocker, and that is where Luke found me and the boys at about 4:00. Once they were asleep again, we put them to bed and collapsed in our own. This time they slept soundly, and I didn’t wake up until 7:00. Like I said, I opened my eyes so happy that at least I hadn’t gone into labor after all that!
As awful as last night was, I was glad to be able to take care of the boys, and give Luke a chance to rest. That is another loose end of sorts- the hope that when the time comes he will be in good shape to labor with me. I have ample time to rest in the hospital usually, but Luke has to head right home to busy children after going through labor with me, and it takes a while to feel stable again.
The boys just went to bed, and didn’t have very much trouble going down. Let’s hope tonight is much less eventful.
Update:
The night in between was wonderful, we slept well, and last night, too. But then at 6 am Kenan wakes up throwing up! I could not believe it- not only was Kenan sick again, poor baby, but here was another time I could honestly thank the LORD I had not gone into labor during the night! God’s timing is perfect, I am reminded.

Preparing

Last Saturday there was a snafu with Luke’s phone- someone ‘updated’ it so now it cannot act as a wifi hotspot. It has been a little dicey as far as not getting information in time via email, but other than that, I have not really missed Mister Internet. Last month I started feeling like I was getting hooked on blogs again, so I then abandoned Della and Lindsay and a couple others I had been reading faithfully, and I guess that got me ready for our internet fast.

Here I am at the library today, using their internet connection. We can also usually check email and such at church; these places along with the occasional stop at Panera or McDonald’s can provide just enough access.

The summer reading program has started up again. I considered doing a read through the Bible challenge for myself this summer like last, but decided not to. I am, however, sticking to missionary stories and books I know will not be too dramatic or violent. Right before Kenan was born I had started Christy by Catherine Marshall, and I believe that contributed to the darkness surrounding my labor and delivery of him. I just finished reading Evidence Not Seen again, by Darlene Deibler Rose, and some could argue that this book was more violent than Christy, as it takes place in a Japanese POW camp. It was a different kind of violence and sorrow and pain…Darlene wrote it in such a way that hope pervaded every evil. So good a book. She is such an inspiration. After finishing it this time, I was struck with the thought of how I avoid suffering. Headache? Pop some pills. Dishes need done? Find someone else to do it. I often go through my day working toward having some time to myself at the end, and often will be pretty put out if there doesn’t end up being much left. This dovetails with what I was saying about my lack of humility- I am not willing to suffer any loss so that someone else, or God, can gain. But that isn’t God’s way. “He must increase, I must decrease,”¬† John said. And to accomplish that decreasing requires a lot of suffering, in various forms. It is all over the Bible how suffering is a part of growing in faith. So, I must be willing to suffer if I am to be on the path to spiritual maturity. The next big exposure to suffering will be my labor with Elijah, and I am committed to being more prepared for it than I was with Kenan. Bible verses at the ready, maybe a song or two. Things that will remind me that this part of life is just as important spiritually speaking as sitting in church listening to a sermon- every aspect of my life needs to reflect my dependence on God, as He gives pain and sorrow just as much as He gives joy.